As though I had chosen to be born.

I think I am starting to understand the 'live in the moment' concept a lot better now. It really was not my intention to be born. The original cause of the beginning of my suffering of life I owe it all to the parents. However, I also owe the happiness and the exciting adventures. But, does that mean that I should be grateful for this 'life' that I had no control over deciding whether or not I wanted to live? Yes and no. I didn't choose being born, but I did choose, almost everything that came after those first moments of tears. Of course I am lucky and blessed to have been in a country where I can sit idly from time to time and contemplate such thoughts instead of having to lug ten liters of water on my shoulders, but I could have been born to parents who were much different. I could have been the product of two completely separate individuals that were not my parents. That thought scares me. Have I a soul? If so, then I could have been in a completely different body, with completely different experiences since I had no control over the initiation into this 'home' I call 'the world'.
I think it's as I grow older that I realize that my origin is important. It's unique and had it had a second of a delay, there may have been a change in the outcome of my existence as I so see it now. But, perhaps, nothing would have changed and the only difference would have been my coming into existence at 10:15:13 instead of 10:14:57. A difference in numbers. Numerologists might argue that it did matter, the alignment of the stars and the position of the moon would be different, etc. But, my question still lingers, at any of those two times, why was it 'me' that was born? Why not 'you'? Or somebody else.
I started off claiming that I understand the meaning of 'living in the moment' better now. And the reason for that is: I hadn't chosen to be born, but I have chosen to live. Hence, it seems that I ought to continue to live in the moment, feel satisfied if this day were my last. I wonder if Obama or even Paris Hilton are satisfied having lived their lives the way that they wanted to, with an imminent amount of success at their doorsteps. Or do we always end up wanting more? Evading the inevitable and trying to prolong it for as long as possible until the impossible surfaces and the heart, the kidney, the lungs fail, or the cancer is simply unbeatable...
--- Suddenly my eyes were opened, everything comes into focus, we are all illuminated, lights are shining on our faces, brightly... Illuminated by Hurts.

XOX